toll roads

In a foreign country I saw people fleeing because they were in the middle of an earthquake and were frightened of a Tsunami. They all tried to get to higher ground. A wise decision I think. But
the road they were using had a toll booth and you guessed it. Those fleeing for their lives had to wait in line to pay the toll.
Imagine the stats for the days takings. Best day yet~ could have got more only they drowned in the queue.
Where is the common sense to open the road to the population.
I spose that is paying the ferryman...

farming the friendly way. or Money for jam

http://tallstories.wordpress.com/2009/12/06/3000-for-not-rearing-pigs-lets-all-do-it/#comment-819

this link is to a site called TALL STORY
KINDLY REPRINTED WITH PERMISSION FROM THE AUTHOR DAVID CALLINAN
£3,000 for not rearing pigs – let’s all do it
December 6, 2009 by callinan

Dear Secretary of State,

My friend, who is in farming at the moment, recently received a cheque for £3,000 from the Rural Payments Agency for not rearing pigs.. I would now like to join the “not rearing pigs” business.

In your opinion, what is the best kind of farm not to rear pigs on, and which is the best breed of pigs not to rear? I want to be sure I approach this endeavour in keeping with all government policies, as dictated by the EU under the Common Agricultural Policy.

I would prefer not to rear bacon pigs, but if this is not the type you want not rearing, I will just as gladly not rear porkers. Are there any advantages in not rearing rare breeds such as Saddlebacks or Gloucester Old Spots, or are there too many people already not rearing these?

As I see it, the hardest part of this programme will be keeping an accurate record of how many pigs I haven’t reared. Are there any Government or Local Authority courses on this?

My friend is very satisfied with this business. He has been rearing pigs for forty years or so, and the best he ever made on them was £1,422 in 1968. That is – until this year, when he received a cheque for not rearing any.

If I get £3,000 for not rearing 50 pigs, will I get £6,000 for not rearing 100? I plan to operate on a small scale at first, holding myself down to about 4,000 pigs not raised, which will mean about £240,000 for the first year. As I become more expert in not rearing pigs, I plan to be more ambitious, perhaps increasing to, say, 40,000 pigs not reared in my second year, for which I should expect about £2.4 million from your department. Incidentally, I wonder if I would be eligible to receive tradable carbon credits for all these pigs not producing harmful and polluting methane gases?

Another point: These pigs that I plan not to rear will not eat 2,000 tonnes of cereals. I understand that you also pay farmers for not growing crops. Will I qualify for payments for not growing cereals to not feed the pigs I don’t rear?

I am also considering the “not milking cows” business, so please send any information you have on that too. Please could you also include the current Defra advice on set aside fields? Can this be done on an e-commerce basis with virtual fields (of which I seem to have several thousand hectares)?

In view of the above you will realise that I will be totally unemployed, and will therefore qualify for unemployment benefits. I shall of course be voting for your party at the next general election.

Yours faithfully,

WHAT A GRAVY TRAIN. !!

slim pickings

christmas is coming and it seems that the Australians won't be getting fat.
A recent magazine by Bi-lo (a supermarket chain) boasts they can feed a family of 6 for under $50.
sounds fantastic and who wouldn't want to save money but ...
the meals are really small. Don't they know that Australia is the fattest nation on earth. I don't think 160g of salad will serve 8 Aussies. or their advertised one punnet of cherry tomatoes and 100g of spinach leaves will satisfy 6 hungry adults.
And the other side of the story is that by the time you get to the shops the price will probably be up by 10% judging by the price of bananas (which varies day to day)

nice try Bi-Lo, pull the other christmas cracker, it plays jingle bells.

who are you?

The bushfire victims are having it tough.

They have been promised lots of money to rebuild and re invent their lives, but there is just one catch.
To recieve the money which is held for them by the govt departments and the public has so generously donated they have to give 100 points, much like the bank asks.
So Joe Blogs comes along and the public servants say ,
Have you got a rates notice?
No it was burnt
How about a bank statement?
No it was burnt
What about a medicare card?
No
What part of MY HOUSE BURNT DOWN AND I ONLY HAVE THE CLOTHES I STAND UP IN
don't you understand.
LCS realizes these people can apply to the relevant departments to get documents, but how do they prove who they are to get the docs. Catch 22
And all the time that money held in trust isn't just sitting there idly twiddling its thumbs, I guess it is earning interest for ...? Well what do you think?

human nature at its best

Not long ago the Australian government decided to help the ailing economy along and hand out money - no strings attached - to the masses.

The idea was to increase spending, thereby increase manufacturing, therby increase employment.

What they failed to realise was that people are a fickled bunch.

Now we cut to about 2 months later and there is a small piece in the paper about - since the largess of the g'vt the gambling revenues have increased 10 fold.

Did the government really think the people would spend wisely, buy australian made products and have a sense of nationalistis pride in helping the economy.

Common sense would have told them that the pokies, the horses, and the casinos would get more than their fair share.

It was an odds on favorite!

money back guarantee.

What is fair and just.

A fellow was advised from the Child Support Agencyto pay X amount of child support . Being a good fellow he coughed up and paid. After all it was for his kids. Then the CSA informs him that he has been overpaying, Oops sorry our mistake. So our citizen asks if he can have his money back seeing it was their mistake.

Not so fast they say. You will have to get it off your wife. And he asks. You can guess the answer.

So now he is told the only way to retrieve his money is to take his wife to court. And the costs of that action will be over and above the money he was to retrieve in the first place.

You giveth and the CSA taketh and taketh.